I tried to go Wat Rong Khun yesterday.
I never made it. It's 8 kilometers down the road, a straight shot, but I never found it. The reason was my stupid scooter. First, the speedometer doesn't do much of anything unless it's really throttled. When it does move it jumps around or twitches like a geiger gauge. Second, the fuel gauge only really informs you that you in fact burning fuel. It seems to deviate from actual levels by about +/- 30%. When it gets to E I regularly open the tank, take a couple wiffs to make the ride more interesting, and take a peak at the amount of fuel remaining before heading off.
After driving for a half hour the odometer finally registered 8 kilometers and I started to pay attention, looking for the temple. It took far longer than expected but I figured I must have been driving pretty slow...I couldn't really tell afterall. Then I did some mental math while driving and keeping an eye on the odometer. According to the odometer and my rough estimate, I was traveling on average 18 kph which comes out to...ELEVEN MILES PER HOUR.
The instruments are crap!
I figured the odometer probably doesn't work because the speedometer definitely doesn't work. Or they're independent problems. In either case, who knows that the kilometerage is on this thing AND if the odometer is busted AND the gas gauge is crap, I can't even estimate how much further I can drive in the future since I have nothing to go on.
With my vibrating ass falling asleep and me considering the fact that seated construction workers operating vibrating equipment suffer from a higher rate of lower back problems, I drove back home stone faced.
The whole trip I took registered 20 kilometers on the odometer. On google maps, 60. Rob assisted me in bringing it to the dealership to be fixed. While driving we each recorded our odometers before we left and when we arrived. His measured 3.9k, mine 1.3, exactly a third like in the morning.
But at least the mechanics actually fixed the speedometer. I'm hoping that fixes the odometer, I'll figure that out sometime. The dealer also said to bring it back anytime and they'd fix it for me for free unless of course the issue was my own fault.
Hurrrr Durrrrian
It looks like this. Here's a creepy picture I found online. I'm only using it since it's the only one I found showcasing their size.
The fruit looks like this (Twinkies? Coincidence?)
I didn't try it till I got to Chiang Rai since from it's reputation it sounded awful. Bryan, Jereme's boyfriend bought some for one of their friends to try, I think his name was Alex, so the guy could suffer the disgusting taste of the fruit. Bryan even bought a chaser of Pepsi. They gave me a piece and I expected to wretch but only tasted quite possibly the greatest fruit that exists on the planet.
Jereme and Bryan both said it was an awful tasting fruit and they never ate/eat it while they were here. Bryan tasted it when I said it was kinda good and he said it didn't taste like the one's they had tried in the past... I think maybe that got a few bad fruits in the beginning and thought that just what it tasted like. So if either of you ever read this, you missed out on 2 years of the greatest fruit on the face of the earth.
But I digress.
Apparently it smells like a hamper full of nasty gym clothes. There are signs on trains and buses that read "No Durian Allowed" and in places I've stayed I've seen similar signs.
But to me it smells just slightly strange, nothing horrible, nothing to chase me away. I've smelled far worse. I think it can smell bad, it just doesn't always.
The fruit is so popular because, despite it's smell, it tastes like heaven on earth.
It's texture is creamy and cake-like. It has a unique taste but again makes me think of cake. In fact, it kinda tastes like milk from a cow if the cow ate cantaloupe all its life, was milked, and the cream was used to then make a rich cake.
It's delightful.
It's also painful as hell to handle when they're whole. If you think pineapples are prickly try picking up a durian.
Having my durian and eating it too
Yesterday Neung went errand running and asked me if I wanted anything. I asked her to pick me up a whole durian, I wanted to cut one open myself. I knew the fruit is on the pricey side but hey, I want to open one up and having a whole one = more fruit = more to eat. Plus I figured anyone here was welcome too it since they'd all been so kind. Fingers crossed they like durian...
She got back and handed me the receipt....
...280 Baht, ten bucks for fruit.
I cut it up and got all the fruit out without an ounce of finesse. Durian sellers get the fruit out without damaging it. I, having no idea what the fuck I'm doing, had some whole pieces but much of it looked like scrambled eggs. I loaded it in a tupperware after eating some and tossed it in the community fridge.
In the evening I realized I hadn't really done much of anything in Thailand yet outside of some minor sightseeing in Bangkok and major Ayuttaya/Bang Pa In, and new years in Chiang Main/wondering around the city. I was on and off sick until about a week ago, was jet lagged the first week, new year's celebrations shut down everything, and then I was kinda stranded at this place for awhile until I had wheels. New Years in Chiang Mai was awesome but I didn't get to do ANYTHING I had hoped to while in that city because everything was either closed or booked. In Bangkok I was ill or jet lagged. I figured though I had a whole year in this country to play catchup and do more than I planned, which is true, but still...
The trouble is now school is starting in twenty days and I've got to ramp up my preparations so I don't have as much time now to go sightseeing. I'd still like to, very much so and will, it's just that...reality, man.
Then I realized I was obsessing over every money waaayyy too much. That was the durian slapping me in the face and when durian slaps you in the face you snap to it I was literally trying to have my durian and eat it to and heard my inner monologue actually say that.
That's when the WHAP of the slap happened. I was trying to be careful with money so that by the end of the year I have some money saved. I'm only making around $11,700 and my math shows me spending at minimum around $6k to be comfy. That includes good food, a nice gym, rent, etc, leaving me with $5k. Granted that is a fart in the wind back home but if I could save just half that to add to my savings I'd at least...uh...cover inflation of my savings?? and still have some left to...uhh...well.................nothing? Besides the remaining $2,500 or so left for dickn around I'd probably not burn through anyway if I threw my caution to the wind.
While considering my budget the days prior I kept hearing the advice I was given by the man that helped me out in Richmond, Virginia last summer. I kept pushing it to the side despite knowing the truth it carried. It wasn't until yesterday that it finally grew loud enough to make it's point.
The context was traveling and budgeting things out as we were discussing my ineptitude.
"It's better to spend your money and have a memorable time" he said, "even if that means cutting your trip short because you ran out of money. You can spend little everyday and have just an okay time and put off heading back to reality or you can spend your money doing the things you really want to do and go home a week or two earlier than planned. Do you wanna look back and think, did I really not go to the Anne Frank museum in Amsterdam because it was fuckin $5?"
Truth
That was the best piece of advice I was given that trip and probably my whole life because in one way or another it applied to many situations and dilemmas.
What he was saying was it's best to burn out and go home happy than linger around and milk a sad existence.
Over time, as I zipped around the country the words made more and more sense as I met lots people and experienced enough to write a book. I don't just mean moneywise but something much deeper.
And that is that everything in life has a cost, a consequence.
You can't get A for B without B so don't expect to get A. You can't have your cake and eat it too. No action has no reaction.
To be happy and to achieve balance, you must first pay what you owe.
Zen
I adopted this philosophy oh so many months ago and everything took on new meaning but the banal existence of the suburbs sucked the effing life out of me -again- and with it my fresh perspective.
So I say...
Fuck it
and Jin, the third grader, shows me the kitchen. Then he goes off. Then he comes back while I'm eating and is like (in okay English, but I'll translate):
and I'm all like 
"How many kilometers?"
You're out of your fuckin mind.
.....wait a minute....
....This country is mine for the taking.
...Thanks
