I sit cross legged in my underwear on my bed in the place I'll be calling home for the next few weeks, watching what I'm guessing is a Thai soap opera, wondering if a gecko will be crawling out of the shorts strewn on the floor beside me in the morning.
When I walked in the door a moment ago, one of the little buggers scurried across the floor to where I believe it's conniving within the component parts of my mini-fridge, to crawl into my mouth while I sleep and deposit all sorts of pathogens I didn't count on running into so that it can call this place home, undisturbed for some time before anyone comes knocking.
But really though, the things are cute but apparently tantamount to rats in their disease carrying potential.
**Side note, cheesy, sappy commercials exist in Thailand. The kind Hallmark would pump out. It's like there's a formula relevant across all cultures for the stuff. Wait, it seems there actually is.
I'll step back a few hours.
The bus ride to Chiang Rai got worse before it got better. Despite only being about 3.5 hours long, the first 2 hours managed to be agony. This had nothing to do with the two giant plates of sushi I ate the night before in Chiang Mai,
The Sushi...
Here's a picture of the first plate I ate, it cost $3.... the second one did too and was equal in impressiveness.
After consuming the second plate, it dawned on me that I had consumed raw fish from a street vendor and had to travel the next day to Chiang Rai, no less.
Although...to their credit, the food in no way looked unappetizing or risky, and it tasted absolutely fabulous.
To celebrate I ate a stick of coconut icecream. (I celebrate for bad reasons)
Then I realized my diet had been void of much protein so I consumed six pork meatballs.
So in what was tantamount to...honestly like 25 minutes I ate 2 plates of sushi, realized I made a huge mistake, lost all foresight, ate a stick of icecream, and meatballs (in that order).
I was filled with regret, satisfaction, and curious as to whether I would be throwing up or abruptly shitting myself in a fashion similar to when you first turn on a sprinkler and the water kinda coughs it's way out.
Would it be in the middle of night in bed? Or during the bus ride in the morning?
Such never came.
**Side note** Tight spandex underwear helps me sleep easier when there are insects and lizards in my room
The Bus to Chiang Rai
The passenger beside me was a little old man with a very sour smell that wasn't so bad at first. Then I realized it was bad, very bad. After that realization, I realized what the smell was, after that point the stench was choking.
I don't know about female restrooms, but very grimy male restrooms smell like a homeless man, whose diet consisted of solely asparagus and the fermented urine of dogs, and is plagued with venereal diseases, urinated for a century on a hot radiator.
This man smelled like that.
After a rest stop and he relieved himself, the act seemed to grant him power and the smell intensified.
I resorted to turning myself in my seat so my back was to him and my feet were in the aisle as I faced the right side window. Eventually I was able to move 3 seats back when room opened up. But even back there I was catching wiffs now and again and gagging.
Once in Chiang Rai, Rob got in touch with me just around my arrival (my phone is still not setup) and together we struggled to find where the hell my interim apartment was. Short story shorter, with some help we found it. We parted ways for a bit while he tended to his own matters before he picked me up again.
The place I'm at is a room with a bath situated in a row of other apartments/dorms, each with a cute little porch and itty bitty patio in the back. It has remote controlled AC and a wall fan. The rooms are
JJEJEEEESSSSUUUUUUUUUS
Sorry, there are these lizards in Thialand I've yet to see but they make a very startling and bizarre noise at night. It's a throaty "UH-ohhhhh" sound.
The room is perhaps 18 feet across and 20 long. It has a nice big bed, a desk, a nice and large clothing cabinet, a little tv stand dealy (with a TV and mini-fridge), a place to sit with a large mirror and light (I'm assuming it's intended for women to do their makeup), a backdoor, and a bathroom. $85 a month.
Not too shabby but I'm quiet eager to see/inhabit my long term residence, which is a house.
I haven't seen much of Chiang Rai but it's busier than I expected and seems to have more conveniences than I anticipated which are both pluses.
Transportation: I'm eventually going to require a two wheeled vehicle and I've got a few options. There's the moped category (cheap, reliable, practical), the motorcycle category (expensive, impractical, awesome), and my favorite category I'm eager to explore the DIRTBIKE category (mystery price, awesome, dirtbike, dirtbike, dirtbike).
---
After my shower, Rob returned with his son Tommy (very cute lil bilingual 5 year old) and we went to Rob's friend's place to hang out for a bit and have a beer or two before getting dinner at the city's night market. I hadn't eaten all day so I shoveled a plate of rice with veggies, sushi (playing with fire?), and tempura into my face hole.
And that's where I am.
I hadn't written for the past few days so I've got to play catchup.
Not writing has it's pros and cons. You overlook minor details you would have bothered to write about, but on the other hand you overlook quirky details that are interesting. But writing regularly is often tedious and bores the reader as, again, unimportant detail can weigh an "article" down and waste everyone's time.
So, bearing such in mind here is what I've been up to. I'll be writing backwards so if you find yourself confused, keep reading and maybe things will be cleared up.
Sunday
Feel pooped. Songkran still going on. I read my Nook all day (actually) and some articles online, planning to go out at night when the water fighting stops so I can snap some pictures -finally.
Night falls, I head out. Random water throwing still. Shit.
I get to the main drag and things are still kind of crazy, dialed back but still registering as crazy.
I run from point to point with my camera like I'm playing war correspondent.
Lot's of pictures, take some quiet back roads and snap some more pretty pictures.
**Eat as described earlier**
Start to head back in direction of where I'm staying.
Notice a pickup truck of people ahead, one is waving at me, blowing me a kiss and yelling in Thai something I'm soon glad I can't understand.
They get closer.
Ladyboys.
These weren't the type you'd be surprised to discover male.
Ya see, with ladyboys there's spectrum it seems. On one end you've got what were once very soft featured men, that were essentially women in their own mind and got some very well done, expensive plastic surgery, and aren't assholes. On the other end of the spectrum you've got men, with some weird kind of fetish that paid for shitty, cheap surgery, still use a razor daily, and are just obscene, assholes. They also look like they could kick my ass.
The type in the pickup were the latter. Oh christ, I can still remember the one eyeballing me.
The moment I realized the situation, I just went total deadpan and walked the opposite direction the truck was headed.
I'll upload the pictures I took, erm, eventually.
Saturday
I met up with some people from Couchsurfing around 11 in the city and we walked around the city all day together. It wasn't the best of times but it wasn't the worst.
It was the wettest day of my entire life, hands down.
In the afternoon, the guy from Germany who was 6 foot a million seemed to get separated from us. After some searching a commotion is noticed and we realize he's down a street to our side wearing nothing but one of those Speedos that stretch up and over the shoulders. He was parading up and down the street, causing hysteria. I expect 10% of the photos coming from 2013 Songkran will be that guy. Hilarious, the women loved it, go figure.
I headed back earlier than everyone as I was tired, getting cold, and the sky looked like it was going to crack open. It did, but I was already heading back so I only froze my buns off for a shortwhile.
**Side note** I'm apparently the only person in Thailand to feel the touch of cold in April. My body sucks.
I showered, past out for a bit, ventured out to stuff my face with street food and see what the city was up to at night.
Short story shorter, the night market was bustling but the city was dialed way back and people were very mellow. I ate icecream, watched that heavy metal band I mentioned the other day, and then walked home to blissfully pass out.
Friday
During the day I did some Songkran-ing as I wrote about the other day.
At night I went a bar to meet some people from Couchsurfing that were fortunately interesting and normal.
The tuk-tuk that gave me a ride back had a 6 year old in the back, the diver's son. It was 1230am, excuse me, it was 00:30. Hey, ya gotta learn the streets somehow.
Whilst driving I was offered to be brought to a 'nice lady.'
I politely declined.
That's it, that's everything in as few words as necessary. Sorry as usual for any gaps in information and sorry for the lack of pictures to go with my posts. After writing it's the last thing I want to do, the first is to fall asleep.
Someday soon I aim to make a post that's a commentary on my first impressions of Thai society from my Western, Adam perspective and the quirks I've noticed. There are plenty and they range from behavioral, to architectural, to just the way roads are situated.
As you were.
